Le Permanent Council du Hockay
Le Permanent Council du Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena is the governing body of the sport. Half sports league, half paranormal investigation unit. They run the league but they’re also clearly trying to figure out what The Almighty Ice is doing.
The bilingual name is never explained. The organization predates the language divide and never bothered to pick a side.
What Le Council does
Section titled “What Le Council does”- Schedules matches and publishes standings.
- Issues match advisories before every game.
- Investigates Unexplained Ice Phenomena with no discernible results.
- Administers the Glacification of information it cannot or will not share.
- Classifies the identities of its own members Glacified, out of “an abundance of caution for their personal safety.”
What Le Council does not do
Section titled “What Le Council does not do”- Control The Almighty Ice. Le Council observes. Sometimes it receives notifications.
- Endorse O.M.E.N.. Le Council is aware of the organization styling itself O.M.E.N. Le Council does not recognize, endorse, or affiliate with this group.
- Acknowledge conspiracies. Le Council does not entertain conspiracy theories, nor does it endorse the wearing of tin foil hats.
- Administer Le Marché Gelé. O.F.F.R.E. does. Le Council wishes this understood before anything else.
Departments
Section titled “Departments”- O.D.D.S.—Office of Data-Driven Speculation. Publishes official betting odds.
- H.O.R.N.—Hockay Official Relay Network. The broadcast arm.
- A.P.S.P.—l’Agence des Pétitions et Sceaux Publics. Receives petitions, issues seals.
- T.R.A.D.E.—the Tribunal that convenes the S.H.I.F.T. once a season.
- B.U.T.—Bets Underwriting Team. Underwrites every bet and ensures payout.
- H.A.B.S., L.U.R.E., G.L.A.S.S., P.A.T.I.N., P.F.A.O.—and the rest. The full list →
- Office of Naming Conventions—spent an entire season being instructed to stop. Was permitted, once, to name the two forms of ice. Reports that it did not enjoy it as much as it expected to.
- Phonetics Bureau—maintains the official pronunciation guide. It’s “Hockay” or “Hoqué.” Not “Hockey.”
See also
Section titled “See also”- Related organizations—O.D.D.S., H.O.R.N., A.P.S.P., S.L.U.S.H., T.R.A.D.E., R.I.N.K., O.F.F.R.E., C.A.R.D., O.M.E.N.
- Match advisories—how Le Council announces modifiers.
- The commentators—JM, who gives Le Council’s work its on-air texture.